I used to work in the mental health field as a Licensed Professional Counselor. With that said, I’ve talked to a lot of people who suffer from depression and, in fact, have been depressed before myself. To say it is difficult is a vast understatement. Statistics show that 10.4% of all physician office visits have depression indicated on the medical record. With that in mind, here’s my best shot to describe depression –
Depression is having cold feet in the summer, and sweating under your coat in winter.
You used to raise your hands to praise to God, but now, getting them high enough to scratch your ear is hard.
You smile, shine your package, wrap your heart under brightly colored wrapping paper, but the contents are broken, crushed, spilling out.
You don’t know why. Not really.
Why can’t I walk through fire and be not burned?
What did I do?
Am I weak? Condemned? Cursed?
Alone is solitary confinement in the soul, yet electrified prison bars in a crowd.
They smile. They speak. They see.
They don’t know.
Maybe, don’t care.
After all, the wall is too high to climb, too thick to breach, too heavy to move.
Wounds don’t bleed. They abscess. Invisible pain festers, eating the spirit in a black glass jar.
No amount of time, talk, tears, nothing relieves the throbbing heart nerve, not for long.
Slow escape comes in fetal position sleep, but the solace drains quickly when the eyes open.
Wings, give me wings to fly away, but depression’s talons dig deeper holding you captive in the dark. Instead of flight to freedom, bat wings cover your eyes in the light while you live upside down.
So you stumble through the day by moon light, longing for a hand to reach into the deep waters.
No hand appears.