She has road rage.  She laid on her horn while passing my truck near the University. I looked beside me and there she was, driving a little blue car yelling at me like a demon possessed llama with rabies.  Reading lips isn’t my forte, but she wasn’t blessing me.

I quickly thought back. I’d been driving in the same lane for half a mile, going the speed limit, and hadn’t run a red light or anything else to tick her off.  Yet here she was at the red light, saluting me with one finger, with no idea why.

She zoomed by going faster than a NASCAR speed limit while she hugged the center line like she was tight roping across the Grand Canyon.

Oh well.  I kept driving.

Three red lights later I pulled up behind an SUV.  Beside the SUV was the same angry woman in the blue car and it was obvious from my angle that she was now cussing and swearing at the SUV driver.  Then, I recognized the same salute she gave me.

Wait! We both can’t be number one!?

I stopped at the gas station and looked up just as the gas nozzle went into the tank to start the steady flow of liquid money.  There she was on the other side of the pump talking on her cell phone.

She looked angry! She had permanent anger and frown wrinkles on her face, and when she smiled, she reminded me of a vampire…someone out for blood.  As she bantered away on her phone, she looked disgusted, like she had just eaten a lemon and raw persimmon at the same time.

This sounds odd, but talking on the phone, her words were polite.  Yet, her voice tone was deep and gnarled, like a witch circling a huge black pot of a bubbling concoction chanting evil spells on passersby.

I started to ask over the pump why she had honked, cursed me and shot the finger.  I wanted to ask what her problem was, why she is angry at the world and would a big dose of Ex Lax help her disposition?  I didn’t.

I made a thought U-turn and considered asking her how her day was going, or comment how beautiful of a day it was, or compliment something around us just to see what her reaction would be.

The woman finished filling up her car and, still talking on the phone, went inside the convenience store.  When she came out a minute later, she was trying to sound friendly and sincere as the call ended.  The fact is however, she is neither nice nor sincere.

She walked by as I was pulling my receipt off the pump and I told her, “Have a good one. There’s all kinds of nuts out there!”

She looked up, as if irritated, and said, “There sure are!”, got in her car and left.

She’s trouble.  She goes around, and for no apparent reason, responds to people in anger.  It’s like a core value for her.

But I’ll take her any day over someone who is underhanded and tries to look good in front of others while dropping stink bombs and dissension under the radar of goodness, concern, or even the guise of righteousness.  That’s despicable.Someone who stirs up dissension usually doesn’t go around openly yelling in road rage and flipping people off.  They’re way more devious, and far more dangerous.  They do the same thing in a sneaky, under handed, manipulative way.

When they’re around, somehow chaos, drama and problems bubble up like an artesian well.  Yet at the same time, they’re usually savvy enough to always weasel out of being named the problem.

One of the best ways to identify who truly stirs up strife is to see what it’s like when they’re out of the picture.

I once had an co-worker like this. Every where he went, trouble ensued, yet he never “appeared” to be the culprit.  When he left on vacation for a week though, it was all so much better.  He was like a skunk in the middle of a perfume factory.  He made it all stink even though he sprayed Channel No. 5 on himself.

We fired him.  The skunk stench immediately left. Production and harmony increased, problems and turmoil went away.

This isn’t a new thought.  It’s nailed in Proverbs 22:10!  Drive out the scorner, and out goes strife; quarrels and insults are ended. 

So, I’m thinking I like the angry, road rage woman FAR more than a scorner.  At least I can see her finger.