Through the air, gliding the winds in silent solace seeking a place that may, or may not yet, be there. Peace and hope comfort my spirit as I wing along seeking a land that only the meek shall enter.
All I see is water, waves upon waves, moving and massaging, yet erasing. Somewhere is a promise, and to find it is my goal. For this, my boarded, protected wings were set free to fly in search of the promise which will release the confined, and set free humbled souls.
It feels good to fly freely. Yet on the other hand, a journey’s labor is rarely worth it during flight. The fun, the pleasure comes in the landing, where the destination is safely enjoyed.
So on I fly through daylight, then the dark night, searching, seeking, straining to see by moonlight that virtuous destination where I may land, yet all that’s there is water.
I breathe deeper, soar higher, winging onward to the prize, for the water below is not my home. Yet weariness quickly answers back with resounding force.
It’s consoling that my weary wings have purpose and reason, but I’m tired. So tired.
Maybe if I dig deeper, my energy will continue. Maybe if the stars could guide me, or if I heard angels sing and feel their feathered praise, maybe, just maybe….
Yet there is nothing but water, miles and miles of water. In what do I hope? Where is my faith? How far is my home? How can I make it?
The ache in my wings wears me down. Worse, the unfulfilled longing weighs on my heart. With every feathered flap, with every stroke air falls away and keeps my body alight. I fly on, yearning, wanting, needing a place to rest.
Fatigue sets in further. I no longer soar, but strike and fight the air simply to stay above the water. The wet surface ominously bids what shall surely be a horrible drowning death.
Something! Please Lord, give me something upon which I may rest. Do not bring me this far to abandon me. Strengthen me to fly on. Empty despair from this hollow heart. Fill me with your promised hope. Guide me to a mountaintop branch, or return me to a window sill. Lead me from this stumbling doubt, out of the darkness and into the light of heaven’s hope.
On I fly.
I want to quit, surrender, give up this exhausting journey. My thoughts turn downward. Visions roll in my mind considering the end of this overwhelming exhaustion so I may enter into eternal rest.
The water beckons me.
Darkness whispers, “Lay your head upon my watery shoulder. Allow my waves to cover as a blanket of peace. Let me give you rest in the depths of my abyss, for there you will find relief from this forsaken pain and weary heart.”
Closer, closer the water comes. My strength fails. My heart begins a slow surrender. Enough of life, enough.
On the horizon! Surely my eyes do not deceive. It is there! It is there!!
Despair dissolves. Strength is mustered from breast to wing as onward I move! There is a way! There is always a way!!
Onward I fly to a place of life, a promised land my goal! Today, I shall not find this place, but at the window rest my sole!
…but the dove found no resting place for the sole of her foot, so she returned to Noah into the ark, for the water was on the surface of all the earth… Genesis 8:9