The rumble of a Harley pulled up on the other side of me at the gas station pump. I was watching the money side spin a lot faster than the gallons, and glanced across the gas pump at the biker. He wore overalls, which were unbuttoned on the sides, boots, a black sleeveless Harley t-shirt, sunglasses and a skull cap.
For whatever reason, a gallon or so later I looked back at his motorcycle and noticed the trailer he was pulling. It was literally a LOL moment!
His motorcycle trailer was made out of a full-sized casket! It was meticulously welded to a trailer frame, and both the casket trailer and his motorcycle were color coordinated in matching blue paint!
I complimented the uniqueness of his trailer and he beamed a satisfied smile. When I asked if I could take a picture though, he came alive! (No pun intended.)
He proudly opened both ends of the, um, the uh, trailer. My eyes widened a bit as he raised the coffin, I mean, the trailer lid. Who wouldn’t wonder what in the world he was hauling back there?
His pride was obvious! He went into great detail about how the back half of the coffin had been converted into a gas grill, complete with all cooking and eating utensils stored in a side compartment. He boasted that he could bar-b-que the best ribs any time, any place, anywhere.
It crossed my mind that he should call his bar-b-que, “Dead Wrong Bar-b-que”, but I bit my tongue. Then a horrible thought meandered through my memory, a movie, Fried Green Tomatoes!
Thank you very much, but just in case, I’ll pass on coff-in-que!!
I wanted to ask if the coffin was used, or maybe if it was returned, but I resisted the urge, mainly because I was afraid of what the answer might be. I mean, what do you say if he answered, “Yeah, Grandma Harriot stayed in here for about a week before we could upgrade her to a cherry wood, triple cushion edition!”
The front half of the coffin had an insulated cooler built in and he proudly showed off his iced down cokes and water.
I wanted to ask if he carried “holy water”, just in case his trailer was pressed into double duty, but the wise cracks stayed in my mind going round and round like a hamster on a wheel.
The man’s girlfriend came out of the convenience store about this time. “She’s got a nice Harley too!” he said smiling. He named it, and apparently, it’s a really nice bike.
I suggested they build her a coffin trailer too so they could have something to sleep in if they went camping. I was just joking, but a light bulb came on and you could hear his hamster wheel turning…it was kinda squeaky, but turning. His expression said, “Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle! That’s a dog gone good idea!”
I quickly changed the subject.
We talked a little more, and they were both very pleasant, very interesting people! He locked down the casket, threw his leg over the Hog, and fired it up. She climbed on the back and off they zoomed.
A few minutes later, I saw the motorcycle and casket parked in front of Wal-Mart, so I took another picture. Ever since then it’s just been killing me (again, no pun intended). I keep wondering if they were buying ribs to bar-b-que? And, just who are these people who eat these ribs with them? I don’t know.
I just don’t think I could do that. Just don’t think so at all!!