Sometimes words unexpectedly flow, but then they’ll shut off like moisture in a desert, or is that dessert?   Either way, writer’s block.

What to write? Come on brain! Just do it pen! This blank paper needs to be stained with ink!

Lean forward. Lean back. Headache. Aspirin. No ideas.

Words usually talk to me.  Not today.  Nothing.  Just flat brain waves.

Silence, so I talk to the words. Fingers began moving almost involuntarily over the keys punching out my aggravation. I start scolding words for their impetuous, defiant resistance.

You sorry words need to get yourself together! There’s no need for you to give me the silent treatment! Uh, uh. Not at all.  And some of you little words are just getting way too big for your britches!! 

Listen here, Yet!

Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you treat the other words! You’re so quick to react to them! You think there are no absolute truths in a sentence. You think you have the right to make an exception to everything, like it’s your Webster’s dictionary given right to always say that there’s more to express.

Yet, regardless of what the sentence is, means or believes, you think you’re a tad bit smarter, Yet with more insight than all other words put together. You say you’re satisfied with the status quo, Yet you just push your weight around for more and more, always tweaking the information, Yet with a twist.

Yet, you just don’t know when to stop, do you?  You’re like a politician trying to cover all the bases, Yet you’re not even on the playing field!

So, Yet, why don’t you just take your three little letters, mind your own business and keep your arrogant little self off the paper, Yet you think not! You just love to stir up, Yet encourage those deviant prepositional phrases!

Yet thee behind me, you lexicon loser!!

And while I’m on the subject, I have something to say to you too, But.

First, you’re nothing more than a fanny word! You just can’t accept any sentence at all! You’re the most opinionated, intolerant of words! At your very core you claim tolerance, But then, when the first sentence disagrees, you put your But into another thought to try to discredit it, But then you disagree once more.

No matter what it is, But, you act on the contrary! Just stop and smell the literary roses! Take in the fragrant adjectives! Sniff the adverbs for what they are, But not what you want to make them into!

Is your verbal self-esteem so low, But, that if you don’t disagree then you think you’re forgotten?  You want to be accepted for what you are, But then you, you who claims to be the most tolerant of all words, you disagree with every sentence, But then call them intolerant.

If by chance someone disagrees with you, you just assume they are a word racist, bigot or hater.  What a progressive word hypocrite you are, But! Psft!

You have your place in the dictionary, But nobody died and made you king of the thesaurus. What is, can simply be, But then you jump in and disagree. But, ask yourself, is it important enough to start a disagreement? Huh?

Then we come to you, And, you weak-willed sissy! All you do is shake your head And agree like a puppy dog wagging its tail for a snack. You just want to keep things going, And so you add a sentence, And add a thought, And allow an idea, And continue the flow, And never finish!

And, then on top of it all, you want to pour more into a full glass, And see what happens. We can’t keep putting alphabet pull up diapers on you, And! You just never say no, And you never stand up for yourself, And never say enough is enough.

And, you’re a phonics pacifist with no ability to even remotely stop anything.  You are Chamberland to Hitler, wood to fire, tax dollars to the government!

You want everyone to like, And, love you. Well, And, guess what?! It ain’t happening! Nobody will like you all the time, And even if they did, they can never admire And respect you if you don’t stand up for something.

Draw a line in the sand, on something, anything, And! Do it for the sentences, And if not for the sentences, then stand up for the paragraphs, And! They can speak for themselves, And!

All three of you words need to get your stuff together!  Join a word recovery group! Join MADD, Memoirs Against Dreadful Dialogue!  Pull yourself up by your dangling participles!

…Writer’s regret…

OK, words, please forgive me for my frustration. Maybe we can recover from this writer’s block together?!

I’ll see all you words in group therapy soon led by Noah Webster! Soon words, very soon!!!!