dreams, Family, Humor, Insomnia, Playground, Sleep, story

Dreamtown to Awakeville

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It was a crazy dream!

I was zonked asleep, which is important, because sometimes I daydream.  In fact, sometimes blogging is like daydreaming, except with words.

Anyway, I was asleep dreaming.

My dreams are usually weird — near sighted blonde unicorns with measles playing frisbee golf while carrying spittoons for their chewing tobacco weird.  Unless you’re deranged, my dreams seldom make sense!

I dreamed about being in an open country field with rolling hills and tall grass as a contestant in a show similar to Wipe Out.  The next task in the show was to ride a merry-go-round for children.

It had five stations: a car, boat, train engine, airplane and a child’s blue plastic swimming pool full of water.  (Yep, I don’t understand the kiddie pool either.)

I was supposed to hop on the moving ride which was being trial tested for the store Petsense.

Petsense sells pet food, animal toys and critters.  Why not test it for Mattel, Legos, Tonka Toys, anything but a pet store!?

Nope. In my dream it was Petsense.

So, I dreamed about standing by the moving merry-go-round and resoundingly decided NOT to get wet in the swimming pool.  And all but the airplane had unguarded belts, pulleys and moving pinch points. (OK, safety is part of my day job, so that kind of makes sense.)

RabBits 15

When the airplane spun around, I jumped on top of the seat. They didn’t mention the airplane would flip over upside down so you would fall off! It was booby trapped!

And what kind of twisted, oddball, messed up mind would come up with such a cruel idea as to not bolt down the airplane?  That’s so wrong!

Come on, Petsense! You wouldn’t do that to feral cats or stray dogs!  Then for crying out loud don’t do it to people!!

Anyway, unlike real life, in my dreams I’m extremely agile, almost super hero like, and always, always with feral cat like reflexes!

Well my cat like reflexes must’ve used all nine lives.  When the dream airplane turned to its left side, I instinctively jerked to my right to spin back on top of it.  But I wasn’t fast enough.  I fell off, hit my head and landed on my stomach.

The dream turned pitch black dark, like a long dark tunnel…

From deep in the darkness I heard a voice… “Jeff, are you OK?”

I got up on my knees and hands.  The grass felt like carpet.

The concerned voice called out louder from the dark… “Jeff? Jeff! Are you alright!?”

In a slumber U-Haul moving from Dreamtown to Awakeville, I began to realize that when I jerked to upright the plane, I’d physically jerked right, rolled off the bed and hit my head on the edge of the nightstand!

My head hurt, and I reached up to feel a 4-inch bone dent in my skull from my ear to right eye.  Owie!

No blood, but the long dent in my skull was already puffing up.

Janet, my wife, flipped the light on and asked for the third time if I was alright.

I stood up, like Rocky Balboa in the 15th round of a fight and assured Adrian… I mean Janet, that it was all good before sleepily stumbling into the bathroom.

From Dreamtown to Awakeville

Sounds ironic, but my brain took over.  I realize that could be technically argued with some very legitimate points scored about how that would be impossible, at any time, but still, my brain put myself on a concussion protocol.

I halfway figured I was going to end up at the Emergency Room, so I went ahead and got up at 5:00 AM to shave, shower and dress.

I dared not go back to sleep, besides, someone needed to bolt down that airplane first.

Luckily, no dizziness, headache, nausea, slurred speech or memory loss. Besides my ego contusions, I just had some swelling with a bruise across my forehead.

Thank goodness there was no black eye!  It’d be hard to explain how I got beat up in my sleep.

Some wise guy though suggested it was a good thing it was just my head since I never use it much anyway!!

Psft! Whatever!  I’m hoping the unbolted airplane shows up in his dream tonight!

21 thoughts on “Dreamtown to Awakeville”

  2. Hey Jeff! You have crazy dreams eh? I’m relatively lucky when it comes to dreams, and it would seem that when I do get into a weird one where someone has stolen my car or I am alone on a deserted island etc, I do seem to have the ability to know that I am dreaming and shrug the whole thing off, whilst I am dreaming. The hard part for me is the first half hour after I get up. I make coffee and forget to put the coffee into the machine and wonder why it is coming out so weak. I’ve also been known to boil milk in the kettle instead of water plus a whole bunch of other things I would rather just deny. For a second here, I thought I had dozed off and dreamt you had posted an article but I know it’s real cause someone else commented on it! Anyway, really glad to see you surface again, looking forward to many more of your wonderful contributions to keeping us all sane. Blessings brother.

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    1. Love that, Bruce….the Canadian “eh”! Where I’m from in Texas, they just spit while staring and say, “That there boy just ain’t right in the head!”, but it would be better with, “Eh?” added on the end!

      I envy you to know when you’re dreaming and when you’re not! But boiling milk in the tea kettle instead of water, uh oh! But maybe that was just a dream… Glad to hear from you, my friend!

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      1. Hi Jeff, I deliberately threw that “eh” in there for you! We really don’t do that! Well, most of us anyway. You’d have a hoot in Newfoundland because they have their own dialect. I lived and worked there in the military for five years. I used to deliberately go into one of the shops on their main drag in St John’s, not to buy anything but just to hear the owner of the store speak. The hearts of Newfoundlanders reminds me of what I imagine the hearts of many Texan’s are like, big and giving as all outdoors. Now that you’re back in the saddle (did you see how I slipped that in there), the world just seems to be a better place. God’s grace, peace and blessings on you and yours Jeff.

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        1. Lol! Thanks Bruce! I love the accents too! In fact, I programmed my cell phone (Siri’s) voice to an Australian accent!

          I appreciate your blog friendship, Bruce! Keep up your good work, brother!

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  8. Wow! That was a wild ride..lol. Great story as usual though, Jeff. 🙂 I’ve had some pretty crazy dreams of my own lately pretty much about airplanes because my son is going to be married to his lovely girlfriend in India (she’s been in the US since she was about 8). I’m so looking forward to this experience with such joy but man I’ve been dreaming about that flight night after night!

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    1. Congratulations, Kathy! I bet that is a LONG flight, but it will be fine and will all be worth it! Just dream about all the wonderfully unique things you’ll get to see, do and experience! Have a great time and enjoy the flight!

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