Just Two Little Letters — 2

~Disclaimer: This is the second satirical post and only meant to entertain, maybe even cause a grin, snicker or smile.  The first post is here.  And yes, there are ALWAYS exceptions.  For the record, no words were injured in the writing of this post, so please don’t injure the writer. (Wink, wink.) ~

It’s weird! Men and women have fun differently!  Granted, there’s no hard and fast rule, but generally the pendulum swings two ways.

Men feel friendship with other guys by doing stuff together.  Here goes:

Two men. They get up at 3:15 AM in cold weather, and meet 3:45 AM sharp at a gas station.  They go inside, fill their thermoses with coffee and get in a truck together.

“Good morning”, one says.

“Morning”, says the other.

They drive 45 minutes, in silence, to the middle of nowhere, get out in the cold and sit in deer stands one mile apart.  At 9:30, they meet back at the truck.

“See anything?”

“Nope. You?”

“Just squirrels”

“Yep. One coyote too.”

They climb in the truck, drive another 45 minutes in silence.  That night they both tell their wives, “That’s the nicest guy!  I really like him!”

Men feel friendship by simply doing stuff together.

It’s odd! They’re the best of friends, but how would you know?

Meanwhile, on the back side of the moon, it’s different!

Women tend to feel closer to others by talking. (Talking, and talking, and talking – OK, maybe I shouldn’t have added this line??)

Anyway, research shows that the average man speaks 10,000 words a day, but the average woman speaks 25,000 a day.RabBits 22

With much fear, trembling and trepidation on my part, here goes:

Two women go shopping. When they get in the car, they talk about the kid’s activities, school, outfits and how the flower bed petunias are the wrong color.

Then they move to their husbands, what he’s doing, what he does right, and wrong, then one laments about why her husband won’t cut his nose hairs.

They talk about the things they want for the house, where and what’s on sale, how plaid makes their face look pale, how haughty a neighbor lady is, why they don’t trust a common friend with secrets, and what’s “really” going on with a couple they both know.

They move to discussions about so and so’s health, and uncouth behavior of an extended family member at holidays, which always leads to a discourse about chocolate that’s typically followed by conversation about the latest diet fads.

When shopping, they stick together like glue, continuing the nonstop banter as if no one else was in the mall.

Each proceeds to pick up every item, every shelf, every isle, every store.  Eventually they return to the first store and buy the things they saw first.

Both have loved every minute of it!

Later at home though, they’ll tell their husband, “It was an OK day” and add, “She can be really sweet, but she just can’t keep quiet!”

Wait. What?

Just Two Little Letters -- 2

Here’s another thing unique to each gender.

Most women are very particular about their hair.  If she gets a haircut, for instance, and someone compliments it, a subconscious locomotion starts.

Even if she knows her hair looks like an electrified buzzard nest, she’ll subconsciously reach up, touch and pat her hair, beaming with joy as she floats on a cloud of satisfaction.

On the other hand, most men, at least the ones I hang around, don’t care much about their hair.  Shoot, most men I know don’t even have hair.

But! If you grab a man’s arm and ask if he’s been working out, even if his arm is flabby fat and as soft as a bowl of Jell-O, he’ll beam the same pleased reaction.

In fact, most men will walk around the rest of the day like an Arnold Schwarzenegger wanna be.  He’ll stick out his elbows a little farther from his sides like his huge muscles are getting in the way of his arms hanging straight down.

It’s obvious to everyone but him.  Just makes you want to say, “Fat can make your arms stick out to side too, brother!!”

Again, just generally speaking, but there’s something about women’s hair and men’s muscles that just seems to be hot-wired into the generator of our brains.

And honestly, that really bothers me!  I woefully lack both muscles and hair!

Hey, I don’t claim to be right here, and certainly not 100% accurate, but thank goodness for the differences!  The difference makes things fun!  (Unless someone is so upset with me that they want to burn me at the stake.)

Relax. Sit back.  Enjoy the entertaining differences in the midst of this thing we call life!

(Uh, ma’am. Drop the match please. Drop the match.)

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15 thoughts on “Just Two Little Letters — 2”

  1. I heartily agree that men and women are wired differently. We see differently, we hear differently and we definitely think differently. Come this December I will have been married to the love of my life for 50 years and I’m still learning. If my wife could read my mind I would have been dead many years ago. We’re watching a TV program and she will tell me that so and so is married to so and so. My response, “oh, that’s interesting, I didn’t know that”. I’m thinking …. “I wanted to know that because ……” I drop something off at one of our distant relatives homes and my wife asks me what colour couch they have. Don’t have a clue even though I was in their living room but I do know they have a Buick in their driveway! If you want to see what sadness looks like, just sit down in a shopping mall and watch all the old men going by. There’s something just unnatural about shopping malls and when you get old you don’t try to hide it anymore. I honestly don’t know how or why they put up with us, but I’m sure glad that they do! P.S. You’re still my hero because you’re so brave! Blessings!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Well you are doubly blessed, Bruce! First, 50 years of marriage is a great one!!! Congratulations!!!! Second, thank goodness for the blessing that she can’t read your mind!! Lol! And Bruce, the difference between brave and just pure stupid is only Saran Wrap thick. 🙂 Peace, my friend!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You had me laughing here, Jeff! Though there are always variations in particular personalities, indeed there are general differences between men and women. I might want to exchange at least 1 or 2 sentences during that 45 minute drive! The joy is that we can complement and stretch one another as husband and wife and laugh through it all!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Melissa, you have a knack for saying it with wisdom. And I love how you and your husband complement each other! My wife, Janet, is the opposite of the talker too and is often the listener….but she can root up a bargain in a jiffy while shopping!! 🙂 Peace to y’all!!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Lol. Perfect scenarios, although my husband doesn’t hunt. He can, however; sit and say nothing at all while I’m splitting out my guts. His reply is “uh- huh.” I wanted something different and continue, “Didnt you hear anything Ive said?” He looks at me wondering if its a trick question and then says with more enthusiasm, “uh-huh!”. And then I leave satisfied, though I’m sure he still has no idea what I was talking about. Maybe he didn’t even care. Yes, we are different, indeed.

    Like

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