Tag Archives: gym

A Little Privacy, Please!

Dad gummit, it’s just not right!

Recently, almost every day I go to the gym at lunch I end up complaining about a female attendant in the men’s locker room.

It’s frustrating! No. It’s way past that. It’s rocket blast to Mars more irritating!

There are other men who rush in, change like I do, exercise, change back, and hurry to get back to work during the lunch hour. It’s a cattle call time.

Yet that’s exactly when she puts out her little yellow sign saying a female attendant is cleaning the men’s locker room.

The first time I saw her in the locker room, I was already down to my red and green plaid boxers. Ain’t nobody but me needs to know I was in the Christmas spirit!

Continue reading A Little Privacy, Please!

Lunch Time Workout

It started with well meaning insults. I called him Fat Lard — he asked when my baby was due. It wouldn’t have mattered much except we were at work having cake and ice cream for a co-worker’s birthday.

I fell for it when he asked if I was losing weight. “I don’t think so”, I said suspiciously wiping ice cream from the corner of my mouth.  “I don’t think so either!!” he proudly rebuffed.  That made the guy sitting between us laugh so hard ice cream came out his nose.

Another co-worker, a skinny, hard belly, in shape little snot, talked about how we ought to come build fence with him over the weekend so we’d lose weight. He smiled as big as a con man at a senior citizen’s home when he proclaimed he wouldn’t even charge us a gym fee. We both ignored the loudmouth and chalked up his demeanor and hard stomach to a bad case of pin worms. Continue reading Lunch Time Workout

Totally Jealous

It takes all kinds to make the world go round, but some make the trip around more entertaining.

At the gym during lunch time, there was a new guy working out, kinda. Most folks just work out to be healthy and go their own way. Not the new guy.  No siree. Not at all!

He was in the locker room when I got there talking to someone in the next section over. He acted as if he was the right hand mercenary for a mafia Godfather, but I’m not sure he’d be over 5’2” even with a pair of stiletto high heels on!  (OK, so I know what stiletto high heels are — I have four daughters.) Continue reading Totally Jealous